Quotes by Groucho Marx

Understand it? Why this is so simple a 4 year old child could understand it. Quick, someone run out and get me a 4 year old child.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.