A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.
- Sir Barnett Cocks

Having served on various committees, I have drawn up a list of rules (tongue in cheek):

  • Never arrive on time; this stamps you as a beginner.
  • Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
  • Be as vague as possible; this avoids irritating the others.
  • When in doubt, suggest that a sub-committee be appointed.
  • Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular; it's what everyone is waiting for.

  • - Harry Chapman

    A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
    - Fred Allen

    A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
    - Milton Berle

    The form of the meeting is simply a reflection of the culture.
    - Terrence Deal and Allan Kennedy

    A meeting is a gathering where people speak up, say nothing, then all disagree.

    A meeting is indispensable when you don't want to accomplish anything

    Any meeting worth holding is worth planning.

    A meeting is an event where the minutes are kept and the hours are lost - OR - A place where you keep the minutes and throw away the hours.

    Seating for the best meeting: Seating arrangements can make a big difference in achieving your meetings' goals. Want to encourage cross-talk and idea-sharing? Hollow squares or a U-shaped arrangement works best. To focus on a problem presented by a speaker, put seats in a semicircle. For a straightforward presentation, placing chairs in rows classroom-style works best.

    Many meetings are like panda matings. The expectations are always high, but the results are usually disappointing.

    The length of a meeting rises with the square of the number of people present.

    At the end of a meeting, make sure specific assignments are made to specific people to ensure follow-thru. Remember: When everybody owns it, no one takes care of it! (This explains to a large extent the reason why the communist economic system failed)

    When it is not necessary to hold a meeting, it is necessary to not hold a meeting.


    End of Quotes on "Meetings"

    12/10/2008

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