Character, like sweet herbs, should give off its finest fragrance when pressed.

Don't "should" on people. When people complain, say "I know you wouldn't complain unless it was important, right?" Then say "If it's important, I'm sure you would like to solve it, right?" Then ask "What are some of the options that are open to you?"

Criticism is often the first line of defense for ignorance.
- John Hartman

Reality is not a basis for overcoming objections.
- J.W.Gorman

He who wrestles with us strengthens our nerves, and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper.
- Edmund Burke

Manage change and conflict or it will manage you.
- Terry Paulson

The number one goal in resolving a conflict is to make sure both sides maintain their self-esteem.

You don’t hit a man on the head when you’ve got your fingers between his teeth.
- Kofi Annan, Secretary-General of the United Nations, quoting an African proverb

Embracing conflict can be a joy when we know that irritation and frustration can lead to growth and the re-engergizing of ourselves and others.

Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything.
- Billy Graham

A good manager doesn't try to eliminate conflict; he tries to keep if from wasting the energies of his people. If you're the boss and your people fight you openly when they think that you are wrong - that's healthy.
- Robert Townsend

Questions you can use when mediating a 2 person conflict in an organization: (ask each person)

1. What contribution do you bring to the team (or organization)?
2. What actions or habits do you have that may be unsettling or irritating to the other person?
3. What does the other do that annoys you?
4. What do you find valuable about each other?
5. What outcomes do you hope for as a result of this conflict resolution process?

You can only hope to find a lasting solution to a conflict if you have learned to see the other objectively, but at the same time, to experience their difficulties subjectively.
- Dag Hammarskjold

Common INEFFECTIVE strategies for resolving conflict:
1. Always BLAME others
2. GENERALIZE whenever possible - use words like always and never.
3. DENY that any problem exists
4. PERSONALIZE the dispute

The number one goal in resolving a conflict is to make sure both sides maintain their self-esteem.

Resolving conflict is rarely about who is right. It is about acknowledgment and appreciation of differences.
- Thomas Crum

It is hard to change our point of view in a conflict. Most often, it is because we are not nearly as interested in resolving the conflict and possibly creating a new "pearl" as we are in being right.
- Thomas Crum

When conflict becomes a win-lose contest in our minds, we immediately try to win.
- Thomas Crum

Conflict is inevitable in a team ... in fact, to achieve synergistic solutions, a variety of ideas and approaches are needed. These are the ingredients for conflict.
- Susan Gerke

If necessity is the mother of invention, conflict is its father.
- Kenneth Kaye

Assumption of cooperative goals leads to viewing the conflict as a common problem to be solved for mutual benefit.
- Dean Tjosvold